WARNING: The following will most definitely piss off the faint of heart, morons, childish wimps, lazy fat pigs and other such revolting creatures. The President takes absolutely no responsibility for how much everyone will bitch and moan about the following, but hell, you all asked for it, so here it is! Thanks a lot, guys! I appreciate it!

 
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Location: West Palm Beach, Florida
Arena : West Palm Beach Auditorium
Maximum Attendance: 8,000 (estimate)
In Attendance: 8,110
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{Scene}
 
The sound of a heart pumping can be heard. It is obviously "Def Leppard's" song "Excitable" starting out. The song then picks up and shots of different wrestlers are shown in different matches. Some notable shots are Pelius delivering a heart punch to Midnight Walker, Desperado hitting CAIN from behind with a chair, Weapon X flying through the air after a crescent kick delivered by the Evil Lord Pelius, Kain Piller brawling with Bad Ass John, Malibu Mike Donovan delivering a Malibu Adjustment Piledriver to Heartbreak Kris, and many more shots. Finally, the view changes to a screen shot of the crowd on hand at the West Palm Beach Auditorium and the place looks to be pretty much alive. Someone is holding a sign that says "CNWF² Wrestlers SUCK, but Lex is God!", "Bring back the Evil Lord!", and "CAIN fears CNWF²", "CNWF ruled! CNWF² Sucks", and "??? Rules the CNWF²! No one rules it because you all suck!"
 
::The camera changes to a view of the walkway.::
 
{Walkway}
 
The chant of "HBK!", "HBK" can be heard very loud throughout the arena. No one is sure who is going to come out of that curtain, but everyone seems to know it is going to be HBK... whomever that is. Suddenly a fat man steps out everyone knows who it is! It is the Human Beer Keg!
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::The camera changes to a view of the commentary table. Frenchie Parker and Lex Victor are sitting there.::
 
Lex Victor: Look at this! It's the Human Beer Keg himself!
 
Frenchie Parker: I know Lex! This is just so spectacular!
 
Lex Victor: I really wouldn't call Knee Johnson spectacular, you know.
 
Frenchie Parker: Oh, come off it, Lex. You know he's great!
 
::The camera follows Knee Johnson as he takes a seat at the commentary table.::
 
Knee Johnson: Hi, old buddy of mine! It sure is great to be back, Lex! Damn, I hate using my real name these days, but as you all know WCW got mad at me for making fun of that idiot, Lee Marshal. Ah, who really cares. I don't need Nitraw parties or anything like that anymore. CNWF² is the place to be, though no one here seems to care a whole lot these days.
 
Lex Victor: Yeah! That's it exactly, Knee! I mean I come out here every day and BUST MY ASS! ::pounding table with each word for emphasis:: BUST MY ASS to get this federation going! Ah, who cares. Nevermind that a quarter of the people I signed for matches didn't show up tonight so there is hardly a card. Nevermind that I bought two whole hours of air time on a nation wide network to put the card on. Never mind that I care a hell of a lot more for my federation than anyone else does. Ah, it doesn't really matter to me.
 
Knee Johnson: Half the people Lex? Does that mean there will only be having four matches tonight instead of six?
 
Lex Victor: Nope, Knee. You see, each guy didn't show up for a match. One guy did, and the other one didn't. The way this worked out is FOUR PEOPLE didn't show up tonight! HA HA! Well, you want to know who isn't here?
 
Knee Johnson: Dear God Lex! What the Hell?
 
Frenchie Parker: Tell me, big boy!
 
Lex Victor: Frenchie, just cut the queer act for just a little and let me speak here. Anyway, Mad Max didn't show up. He's fired now. Sub Zero didn't show up. I will probably hit him with a suspension. Orpheus 1 didn't show up. I will either suspend him or fire him. And last but not least, Suicide didn't show up, so that's FOUR GUYS who didn't show up! And that cancelled FOUR MATCHES!
 
Frenchie Parker: Show the list of cancelled matches, Lex!
 
Lex Victor: Might as well. It is longer than the list of matches we are having tonight.
 
::The view switches to a list of names.::
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EXTREME MACHINE vs Mad Max
Sub Zero vs Big Fig
Frederick B. Inkel vs Orpheus 1
Malibu Mike Donovan vs Suicide
 

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::The view switches back to the commentary.::
 
Knee Johnson: Damn, Lex! You got screwed! Those could have been some great matches!
 
Lex Victor: Well, I spent all this money on two hours of programming and no one wants to even be on it! I don't have participation. I mean these guys are out there having a good time somewhere and it just doesn't work that way with me. Well, there is obviously no way we can fill these two hours with matches. I don't even think we can fill thirty minutes with what we have. I wasted a lot of money tonight. This is going to be one of the worst days in CNWF² history, but I am not giving up.
 
Frenchie Parker: That really is very touching, Lex. I mean it. HA HA... oops, sorry about that.
 
Lex Victor: Well, I really don't mind. I mean we have two hours of television programming right now that we can pretty much do whatever we want with. Well, I guess there is about thirty minutes we will have to give to the matches, but then we have an hour and thirty to do what the hell we want! HA HA!
 
Frenchie Parker: You mean that Lex?
 
Lex Victor: Well, Frenchie, in your case I doubt there is anything that would be safe for you to do that you want to do.
 
Frenchie Parker: Fine, Lex.
 
Lex Victor: ...you disgusting pig. Anyway, let's get on with our first match. Screw the music. Screw the fancy entrances. Just tell them to get their asses out here! This is the Danger Zone!
 
Knee Johnson: So, what match is happening right now, Lex?
 
Lex Victor: Oh, just a match which I am sure everyone will be disappointed with the outcome. Or maybe they'll like it. I don't know, but I am predicting Tunzafun is going to pull an upset over Kevin Jackson. I meann Jackson hasn't really been paying any attention... to anything at all. On the other hand, Tunzafun has been doing some hard work.
 
Frenchie Parker: I think that's a good assumption. How about you, Knee?
 
Knee Johnson: Face the facts, Lex. Jackson is the better of the two, you know.
 
Lex Victor: Maybe, but who prepared for their match more? Hell, Jackson almost no-showed tonight! He barely made it here. Tunzafun was here well in advance. That shows you who cares more about the match.
 
Knee Johnson: He could have been held up in traffic, you know.
 
Lex Victor: You could say something smart sometime, you know.
 
Frenchie Parker: I love it! Just like old times!
 
::The camera changes to a view of the ring and Jackson and Tunzafun are already in it.::
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"Real Deal" Kevin Jackson vs Tunzafun
6'-2", 234 lbs -----------------------5'-10", 220 lbs
(Normal singles match)
 

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{Match}
Tunzafun quickly gets to work on Real Deal by executing a drop toe hold taking him to the canvas. He moves so quick that he then gets to the top rope really quick just as Jackson gets up. He leaps off the top rope at about the same time and drives Jackson's face into the canvas with a devastating bulldog. He then executes a standing backflip and lands right onto Jackson and hooks the leg for the cover. 1..2.. Jackson barely kicks out and looks a bit staggered.
 
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: Lex, it seems like you are always right, you know? I never am right when you are around.
 
Lex Victor: The problem is, Knee, the people you hang around with are people who are dumber than you are. It really doesn't take a whole lot to out-do you, you know.
 
Knee Johnson: Aw, shucks Lex. Thanks a lot!
 
Frenchie Parker: There is a match going on, guys! Let's stick to it!
 
Lex Victor: Parker, as much of a pansy as you are, I guess you still have that wrestling spirit, huh?
 
Frenchie Parker: I think I'll leave that one alone... he he he!
 
Lex Victor: Whatever.
 
{Match}
Tunzafun is still working away at Jackson. Jackson tries to catch Tunzafun in some kind of half nelson or something, but he slips right out. He quickly delivers a clothesline sending Jackson back to the canvas. However, this time Jackson gets up quick and tackles Tunzafun and punches him while they are locked up on the ground.
 
{Commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Well, there's the first bit of offense we have seen from Kevin Jackson in this whole match! Way to go!
 
Lex Victor: Well, I don't think it will last lon... well, there it is. Tunzafun just made it to the ropes. The ref has just made Jackson release Tunzy, but he is arguing with the ref! He isn't paying any attention to Tunzafun!
 
Knee Johnson: Look out Jackson!
 
{Match}
Tunzafun just bounced off the ropes and is now coming back at Jackson. Tunzafun now, as he is coming back, flips foreward at Kevin Jackson and catches him around the head with a hurricanrana and smashes him head first into the canvas. He doesn't quite complete it, so he doesn't get a chance to hook the legs. However, he does cover Jackson in an attempt, but he kicked out at the two count.
 
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: Lex, you sure know your wrestling! I mean Jackson doesn't look like he stands a chance.
 
Lex Victor: Well, it seems to me like he doesn't even care, either. His opponent didn't even prepare very well for this match, but Jackson prepared even less. Well, that's just the way it goes and it looks like Tunzafun is about to finish him off. I guess we are going to see the Moonsault Superplex! He's got him on the top rope! I think belly to belly moonsault would be a more appropriate name for this maneuver... oh my gosh! He did it! It's all over! He is already in a pinning situation. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! Tunzafun won!
 
Knee Johnson: That's another upset for the guy! I can't believe it!
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Tunzafun by pin via Moonsault Superplex
6'-2", 234 lbs -----------------------5'-10", 220 lbs
(Normal singles match)
 

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::The camera changes to a view of the commentary table.::
 
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: That was sure a short match, Lex!
 
Lex Victor: Oh yeah! Well, Look at Jackson ranting and raving in the ring. He sure looks mad that he lost, but oh well. Hell, I even tried to call him up today and tell him that he really should take this match seriously, but he ignored my calls. Well, I really don't know if he would have listened or not, but that was the result.
 
Frenchie Parker: You know, Lex, it is a long time until the Main Event. I mean that isn't even scheduled until the end of hour two of this program. I mean what are we going to do? Do you feel like clearing the air on a few things in the CNWF²?
 
Lex Victor: You mean do like an interview right now?
 
Frenchie Parker: Well, just say what you want and me and Knee will jump in and ask you questions if we have any.
 
Lex Victor: You know, this week's Danger Zone is seeming more like a house show than anything. Well, get a camera man on us and link him into the jumbo-tron. And get us some mics that are already hooked into the P.A. system. Might as well do this as the next show probably will not be equipped with a jumbo tron because we are going to lose money. Maybe the viewers at home will enjoy this, but being here live and in person is going to suck!
 
Knee Johnson: Hey Lex! What are you trying to do? Destroy the company or something?
 
Lex Victor: I am just telling the truth. I know we are still on the air, but I don't really care. There really isn't anything I can do about this. I am not like other companies and try to play these things off. I let you guys know the real thing. I don't play the fans as morons because a lot of them know this business very well. They all know what the schedule was and they all know it has been drastically changed. I am just glad I sold the extra thirty minutes I bought for this program a few days back because that would have been more lost money. We aren't going to use the full two hours, and that's a fact.
 
Knee Johnson: I told you we should have kept Nitraw. We could have had a nice Nitraw party afterwards... well I know the WCW never would agree to it.
 
Lex Victor: Just stop talking about the past. I am going to make the best of a bad situation, and I am going to prove that I am at least a productive part of this federation. I don't give up like a lot of other presidents do, and I will to what it takes to get us to the top as long as I can run this place. I fear the day I have to hand this organization over because I think that's the day this federation dies. I don't think there is another person who would do what I am doing for the simple fact that it looks stupid. I mean what other president would even bother holding a show with only two matches that was planned to be about an eight match show originally? Most presidents would give up right after that, but not me. I have said it before and I'll say it again. I am not giving up on this federation. ::pauses for breath, then notices his voice is echoing.:: Frenchie... I see you got the PA working already.
 
Frenchie Parker: And the jumbo-tron Lex! ::whispering to Lex:: And I think the crowd loves what you have to say!
 
::The crowd is cheering.::
 
Lex Victor: Well, alright. ::Standing up:: Anyway, the reason I am talking to all of you right now is because I feel that the members of this federation have cheated you out of your money. They thought it would be a hell of a lot of fun to screw around tonight and forget about the "corporation". They all seem to hate my "corporate" ways. Well, they can shove their corporation right up their ass because the CNWF² has NO ONE STANDING IN ANYONE's WAY!
 
::Crowd cheers.::
 
Lex Victor: I am the ultimate authority, and no one has any say before or after me. It has always been that way, and it will probably be that way for a while. I hear all this crap about how tough it is to get anywhere around here like there is some kind of bureaucracy. You know what? I am the only man in CNWF² you have to go through! There are high ranking officials, but they mean nothing. You don't have to go through any of them to get to me. Yes, I got screwed tonight. You, the fans, got screwed tonight. Everyone who had anything to benefit from coming here got screwed tonight! But you know what? Even if we don't have the show that was originally scheduled, I'll keep my word. I'll try to keep this show on as long as I can. I always have a backup plan!
 
::Lex pauses for the crowd's reaction. It is favorable.::
 
Lex Victor: Another thing I want to talk about with everyone is the Pelius situation. You realize that HaVoC is going against the CNWF² as a result of this? Ha ha! I have to get a good laugh about that. You know, that was a federation I named myself. Originally it would have been HVCL or something like that. That's Heroes and Villains Combat League. Rather dull, huh? I saw that name and I figured I would re-vamp it. I am a business mind and I saw how that could really be named into a neat name. So I decided that HaVoC was a good name! What does it stand for? Heroes and Villains of Combat. Clever, eh?
 
::crowd laughs::
 
Lex Victor: You know, it's rare for a crowd like this to laugh, but who am I to argue?
 
::crowd laughs more.::
 
Lex Victor: But anyway, the situation is Pelius thinks I have done him a grave injustice. All I did was save him from getting whipped by Akai Daragon when you think about it. Ah, so what if he lost anyway. I saved the man some pain. That's why he never hit me, you know. But anyway, what I am getting at here is now his organization wants to take on the big bad CNWF². Well, we aren't big and bad right now, but I think we will be. Compared to HaVoC, we are big and bad, though. But you see, they turned against us, and you know what happened? They started going through rough times. So guess who bought CNWF² time for an advertisement? HaVoC! Ha ha! Kind of shows you who's in charge. But really, it is a great league and I have nothing against them. The thing is, they are against us and you think the CNWF² is going to sit back and let them kick our asses? ::Lex pauses for effect.:: YES! I think the CNWF² will because the wrestlers don't care! I won't, though. I'll do what I can to keep my fed intact. I may not even be very favorable to anyone anymore, but that's the price. Anyway, we are getting close to a commercial break for the camera crew, so after that, we'll be back with the backup plan!
 
::The crowd cheers more as Lex sits back down. Frenchie turns off the P.A. connection.::
 
Lex Victor: So, what did you guys think?
 
Knee Johnson: Just fine, except one thing, Lex.
 
Lex Victor: Yeah?
 
Knee Johnson: What is the backup plan?
 
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Stay tuned for part two

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